Scared of blowing the spine out of the next girl you jack? Been a while since someone’s given you the old hand shandy? Don’t worry bout it! Have a maz…instead!

Science facts, go!

Masturbating relieves:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Boredom
  • Prostate Cancer
  • Coronary Heart Disease
  • Swollen Nasal Vessels
  • STIs
  • Insomnia
  • Blue Balls
  • Lady Blue Balls
  • Stuff
  • Screw Flanders.

If modern medicine has green lit using pornog to prevent all these things then by gum you jump on redtube right now and rub one out. Ladies too.

For your health…


By Dr. Daniel Loos